we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
