Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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