I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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