he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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