I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
