Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize