break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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