To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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