maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
