I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
