i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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