Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
