Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She even gives head with a lisp.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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