I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
