the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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