Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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