I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
