The maid of honor just puked.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
