Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
