Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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