hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
