we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
