? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
