Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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