Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
