Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
