Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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