I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg I joined a choir last night...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
