she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
