i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
