Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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