I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize