That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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