I'm so fucking centered right now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
