it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The adults are the big ones right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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