I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
