bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize