If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
