so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
