the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All I want is dick and wine.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
