He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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