I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
