At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
