We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
