Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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