I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize