So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
