I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
