She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
