Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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