Slut skills are useful in every country.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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