all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
