Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
