Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
