i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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