She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
