hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
