Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
