i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
