it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
