Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize