so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
