new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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