Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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