Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
