I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
