if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
