Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
