just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
